It’s been a whirlwind of a week with all my pre-op appointments falling on one day. I’ve read so much information I think my head is going to explode. I’m exactly one week and -56 minutes from my lumpectomy, sentinel node biopsy, and intraoperative radiation therapy — AKA My Little M&M Coming Out Party.
I’m surrounded by love, support, and positive thoughts… all good things I need to have to get through this. Most days are practically normal. Get up, work out, shower, eat, do stuff, ride my horse, etc. The biggest change is that I am hyper-focused on every twinge, feeling, ping/pang in my body. Every. Little. Thing. It’s kinda annoying, actually. I’m also hyper focused on everything I put into my body right now… my diet was already changing, but I’ve made some more major modifications cutting out anything processed, eating more real food – vegetables, fruits, etc. Whole goodness, no more crap.
I still find it surreal — almost odd — when my doctors say I have cancer. I’m not in denial but it feels weird to think that I — a nearly healthy person — can have rogue cells trying to live. When I learned how the cell actually mutates and takes on a little rogue-style living I almost felt sorry for it. But, then after a microsecond I thought…Ummm, hell no! GET OUT — You are not welcome here. You do not get to pass go. You do not get to tell your friends or converts that I am a hospitable host. The neighborhood is not good for you little rogue cancer cells… the schools are not good. In other words – GET (expletive omitted) OUTTA MY LIVING SPACE AND DON’T THINK ABOUT COMING BACK! EVER. Done. Buh bye!
After my surgery I’ll have a follow-up appointment with my surgeon and radiologist (both oncologists) to see what the little asshat of an M&M truly is. Hopefully, no, without a doubt it will still be the same as the initial findings and the treatment plan of One and Done (with the IORT) and a pill will send me on my way to being a cancer survivor. To living cancer-free with a lot more focus on the free and living! Healthy. Whole. With no little alien cells trying to make their home without disruption. I visualize it that way… with all my heart and soul. 
Dressage in Black, White (and Pink) 